Ultimate stress reliever song

I always listen to this song every time i felt the need to relieve myself from stress... or just to take a break from the ala-acrobatic exercises of the brain...

Sarah McLachlan's Angel

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

I don't care if this song was inspired by a heroine addict or if this is sort of a suicidal song... nevertheless, i like the peacefulness that the song gives me every time i hear it... It reflects most of my current dilemmas and longings in life.

During the wee hours of the morning

10 things i say to myself during the wee hours of the morning and still with zero pages to count for productivity:

1. Food will not make you alert, it will only make you drowsy... and fat! Wag kang kumain! (Don't eat!)
2. Stop visiting your friendster, facebook and multiply accounts and stop blog hopping!
3. This is your nth cup of coffee for the night!
4. Oh, no! Don't go near the bed!
5.Procrastinating is a very bad habit...
6.Ela, excabation is spelled with a v...
7. What the hell did i type? (when slip of the "pen" occurs)
8. Well the bed looks very inviting, it wouldn't hurt to rest my back..
9. I can't bear it anymore... i need to sleep.. im just going to wake up early and deadline's till 6pm...
10. Zzzzzz.....Zzzzzz......ZZzzzzzzz.....

Mood: snoring to my heart's content!

Valentine's blues

Even if I do not have a calendar, I would still know that the world celebrated Valentine's day yesterday because roses are practically all over the metropolis... As for me, I celebrated the special day of hearts just like what i did for the past 24 years of my life, by not celebrating it at all!

A week before Valentine's, i contracted a virus called Valentine's blues, or what others might term as, Valentine's syndrome. Valentine's syndrome is the condition when you long for a significant other and the security that it will give you. This is the time of the year when you long for the things that your otherwise normal self will not even think about. The time of the year when you almost wish to trade your highly valued independence for something more...

My mind creates pictures of me and my "right guy"...

serenading me with his version of "can't take my eyes off you" in a soccer field (oh, i miss heath!)
who will wipe the tears away when i feel like crying my heart out
who sees everything that is beautiful in me
snuggled together until the first ray of sunlight appears in the sky...
talking until the wee hours of the morning
his voice will be the last one i hear before falling asleep
... and the one who will wake me up when morning comes.

Of course, this longing happened last week, when I was down with this special kind of flu, worsened by an overload of Koreanovelas, but now I am back to my otherwise normal self and appreciating again the beauty of independence and freedom...

Nothing is impossible in 2008

Happy New Year, Everyone!!!

I want to start the year with optimism. So, I am listing down the things that I want to achieve this year.

1. Documentary
Started filming the documentary material with Magi last Christmas. We aim to produce/finish it early this year.
in connection with this, we need to make rackets just to finance our top of the line camcorder and supplement our documentary project.

2. Start thesis this year. I am still thinking what to do but I have an idea of what I want to tackle.

3. Find my niche.. wherever it is.. :-)

4. Smile more often and be CRAZIER. (I am already crazy but not crazy enough for me!)

5. Travel and see the world.

6. Start photog lessons.

7. Complete my inc subject before the sem ends and devote more time for my studies.

8. Be more health conscious.. sana

A Different Christmas

1. I went out of my comfort zone and took baby steps towards my dream to create a documentary.

2. I spent it people who are struggling to survive. Although surviving is a struggle, they create ingenious ways just to buy rice. There is the electric fan cap turned grilling bar, 1/4 milk powder-3/4 am (water rice) combination, the caroling activities of the children and attendance to religious activities just to get a kilo of rice and canned food.

3. (dirty) dancing kings. My first time to watch and shoot several dancing men who would face the camera and do an equally (dirty) lip movement.

4. slow-mo downfall caused by a drunk/idiotic tryke driver.

Holiday Notes

Just a few mental notes I have observed during the holiday season:

1. there are a lot of donation/begging going around the metropolis...
It is because most people have the inclination to give during this "season of sharing", thus, an emotional/moral economy is created. Myth or fact?

2. I've gotten this from my rummie/officemate: the more gifts you receive from officemates, the more plastic (plasticer??!) you are.. still thinking, if this is valid...

3. Christmas are for children. Children are the ones who are truly happy this season because they are the ones on the receiving end, whereaas, the adults are the ones who have to let go of their christmas bonus.. hahaha!

4. Just wondering whether depression increases or decreases during the season...

That's it for now...

Clutter or Chaos?!

"Amidst the clutter lies a brilliant mind..." Yeah, i know, it's a lame excuse... =)

I recently finished reading the book entitled "The Flower Boy," by Karen Roberts. I don't usually make book summaries or reviews and I don't intend to start now... I just want to share a few lines from the book which really captured my attention.. Here it is:

"... he reminded her sometimes of a bird who had been born into captivity and would not know what to do if his cage was ever opened.
She thought of the old story of the falcon who spent all its life chained to a post, who walked round and round in circles as far as the chain would allow, who was freed one day and kept walking round and round in the same circle, even though there was no chain.
Who had forgotten how to fly."

I don't want to be a bird who had forgotten how to fly... Although I know that my circumstances and that of Appuhamy (the one compared to the bird in the story) is different, it makes me afraid that I might forget how to fly since I am not practicing it in the first place...

I just want to soar high in the sky! Soon!

Anthro Nga Ako??!!

I feel like i'm walking on a cloud 9... Im grinning from ear to ear and yes, im very insanely and giddily happy! It's because i finally got the approval and appreciation that I wanted to hear since I started this "life project." Just when I'm beginning to question my ability and declare myself a loser, someone finally praised me for a job well done. Just when I am ready to give up and shout for defeat, someone finally told me that I'm a winner and gave me the highest praise (in my opinion) -- he told me, "Anthro daw talaga ako!!!"


Ang saya ng feeling na na-aapreciate ako and the knowledge that i have produced something i can truly be proud of... producing something which i can hold on to when the time comes again that I have to question my ability and my power to push for my dreams... :-)

Happy Valentine's Day!

"i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so i love you because i know no other way..." -Pablo Neruda

Thanks ate kat for sharing this line...

Have you ever experienced waking up one morning and realized that you are no longer in love with someone? I often heard and watched these things in movies but I did not know that it can happen to me until now. This is not about my love life! sorry, i really don't have THAT! :-) What I am talking about is that I realized this morning that I really do not want to pursue what I am doing right now. This stems from my inability to write and articulate myself in writing.